end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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