I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
