is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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