I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
