I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
