Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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