I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
