i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
