Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
