where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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