were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
