something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
