They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
