I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
