did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
