People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My bed smells like the plague
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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