Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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