The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
