For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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