So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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