it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
