I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
