i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
