So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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