Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
