didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
