I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
