Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
