apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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