The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
