Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
