And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
