He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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