Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
