I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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