Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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