office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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