How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so let's talk penis.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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