A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
