she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
