Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
