i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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