are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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