Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
