Pappa wants mamma naked
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
