i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
someone owes me an orgasm
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
