Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
