So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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