Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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