I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
