Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
